A close friend invited me over to check out his new place. After 10 years of marriage, he was starting over and living alone for the first time since college.
The place was completely furnished but felt empty. Without knowing the specifics of the situation it’s obviously inhabited by one person (a Steelers fan, according to the framed Roethlisberger jersey in the main foyer).
“So what does it feel like to live alone?” I inquired, because there are only so many questions to ask about a two bedroom condo with one empty bedroom.
“I spend much more time alone than I thought I would.”
A failed relationship. A sudden passing. Parents are selling the house and moving to a warmer climate.
These are just some of countless reasons an adult man might suddenly find himself living alone for the first time in a long time, or possibly, for the first time ever.
Having to live alone after an extensive period of cohabitation is a scary life change. The transition is easier when consulting advice from men who’ve successfully adjusted to the suddenly bachelor lifestyle.
“Newly living alone. Tips for a better lifestyle?” was the question posed on Reddit. Here are some of the best answers on how to live alone if you’re a single man.
How To Live Alone – Advice From Other Men
Make Your Bed Every Day
“Make your bed. Every day. Because it starts the day with an accomplishment. Sometimes that’s all that’s needed to get things moving in a positive direction. It sounds stupid, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do.”
Fill The Time
“Ramp up your time with a hobby that you enjoy and if you don’t currently have one, try different things out and don’t be afraid to try things. Try easy and cheap things like reading, cooking, or even learning an instrument and try to stay clear of hobbies that require a lot of money, time, and space for now–something like rebuilding cars/motorcycles because if you didn’t love it before, you may grow bored and eventually get stuck with it until you finish it off or find somebody that’s willing to buy your junk.
If at any point you feel overwhelmed, just remember that these feelings are normal and they do pass. I also recommend that you don’t force things like finding a rebound, and turning to alcohol, drugs, or comfort foods.”
“I went through my house and removed most of my junk and possessions I don’t need, such as going through my wardrobe and if I cant remember using it for 12 months it’d be gone. This went with books, trinkets and other random junk. Cleaning out your life can be a good thing even if the stuff has no sentimental value at all.”
The Power Of Podcasts
“When I was newly single one of the biggest things that helped was listening to podcasts. Surprisingly helped a lot with the loneliness, just hearing a discussion about an interesting topic. Plus there are tons of ‘personal development’ podcasts that I would listen to that helped me improve in various aspects of my life”
“Don’t forget the power of going for a walk. It’s cheap, easy, healthy, and gets you out of the house.”
Keep It Clean – Just In Case
“Keep the place clean and smelling good. It is easy to get lazy and not clean up, not purge stuff enough. Just think would you sleep with someone who lived here??”
Learn About Yourself Again
“Two tiny suggestions from someone that’s been living alone for 13 years, recognize whether or not you’re a slob and set up yourself to not fail. For example, only keep 2 sets of dishes. If you have more you might not do the dishes because you have spares! So just keep a set for you and another one for a visit. Another one, sorta cheating, is to invite your folks over frequently; they’ll buy you the crap you need. Finally, I’d suggest making as many friends as you possibly can. Even one is just enough.”
Other live alone advice included making the place look interesting to yourself and others, being prepared for the lonely times by setting aside tasks to do and “getting ready for a ton of self reflection.”
My friend will have some thinking, and adjusting, to do but he’ll eventually find his way. My live alone advice to him? Get rid of the jersey on the wall and not just because I’m not a Steelers fan.